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Posted by / 12-Aug-2020 18:14

Sex is only spontaneous in the early years, it even has a special name ‘limerence’ when sex is exciting and new when you can’t keep your hands off each other.But when the 24/7 domestic reality sets in, working long hours and starting a family, the excitement of the past easily can disappear and the sex couples now have can start lacking passion.I see couples that are dealing with infidelity - couples who like to have a better sex life but don’t know how and couples who would like to break up (usually one of them) but need a mediator to help them.The biggest problem is that people have such a ‘fear’ of having to admit that they have problems that they often wait too long.Sex is a part of life that historically has always been associated with shame and this appears not to have changed much for many people.This means they feel shame or embarrassment when trying to talk about it and they avoid the subject.Matty Silver: When I was studying to become a counsellor at ACAP – the Australian College of Applied Psychology in Sydney – I started working in the office of Impotence Australia and the Australian Society of Sex Educators, Researchers and Therapists (ASSERT), answering telephone calls from men and women about sexual issues and concerns.During these years I began to understand that Australians viewed sex differently to the way I did.

I believe that when couples have a reasonably good sex life – they usually have a good relationship.Shame inhibits having a healthy attitude to sex and to make our sexual experiences more fulfilling – attitudes need to be shifted, and sex needs to become a natural and healthy part of everyday life.The book consists of 40 chapters and offers readers simple tips, advice and information aimed at creating healthy attitudes to sex and dispelling many of the unhealthy myth and taboos that prevent people and couples from having a healthy and satisfying sex life.Having sex is an intimate act; we can feel vulnerable and uneasy, and find it difficult to have a dialogue.The best way overcoming this is with laughter and humour, keep in mind that sex should be fun!

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That’s the time when the misconceptions start – for example, the fact that only 20% of women can orgasm by just intercourse – (they also need clitoral stimulation) – makes women feel there is something wrong with them –they can orgasm on their own but not with intercourse and out of desperation may fake it.

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