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One man, a successful attorney, was drawn to younger woman because youth symbolized (to him) an eagerness and lightness of being unblemished by the disappointments and wear and tear of life.Youth, then, functioned as an unconscious antidote to his real view, one acquired in childhood, of women as unhappy and impossible to please, a view that was chilling in the bedroom.
Other people might tend to inhibit their passion because of feelings of invisibility and worthlessness.
A man I treated who was secretly worried about draining or burdening women with his needs fixated on large breasts, experiencing them as a symbolic marker for a woman who has a lot to give and enjoys giving it.
A woman I treated who was attractive and confident in her own right gained a similar reassurance from the height and size of the men to whom she was attracted.
The man can have multiple erotic encounters, fashioned entirely to his taste, and enjoy relative anonymity.
The anonymity provided may be total, complete with fictitious screen names and invented identities, or relative, as it was with Weiner who flirted (and more) with online correspondents whom he didn't know at all and who knew him only through his public persona.
And, finally, a university professor, a woman, who I worked with many years ago found herself drawn to biker types because their apparent rough-hewn manner and in-sensitivity made her less guilty and worried about taking care of them. Some people, predominantly men, enjoy sexual encounters on the Internet, whether via erotic conversations, twittering, or sexting.