Dating women during divorce
(Please note: Most of these have legal implications, and the laws vary from state to state, so please consult with your divorce attorney as soon as possible). Every type of electronic communication has the potential to leave a digital trail.
That means your Tweets, your emails, your text messages and every type of electronic transmission in-between could possibly end up under a microscope (so to speak) being painstakingly scrutinized by your husband’s divorce team in hopes of bolstering his case. A resounding 92 percent of the nation’s top divorce attorneys say they have seen an increase in the number of cases using evidence taken from i Phones, Droids and other smart phones during the past three years, according to a recent survey of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML).
Dating after divorce can be a minefield for the midlife woman.
Perhaps even thornier than pondering what to wear on a date, where to go, who pays — not to mention how you even find people to date in this brave new world of Internet match-ups — is getting over your reluctance to take a stab at it. "A divorced woman may feel very vulnerable at this stage, in part because she used to have a spouse to 'protect' her and now she has to go out into the world on her own," says Diana Kirschner, Ph D, author of .
"My rule of thumb is to meet in person within two weeks of making online contact." Might as well find out as soon as you can if the chemistry is virtual — or real.
Maybe one guy is very funny, but you enjoy another man's intellectual stimulation."You can see what you might want in a relationship going forward," she says, even if it's not with any of these guys. Kirschner fully supports seeing multiple people at one time when you first start dating, she does say there's one caveat: making sure everyone knows."Just say, 'I'm enjoying dating you, but I want you to know that for now I'm also seeing others casually.'" Hopefully it's obvious to you that if you have children at home, you shouldn't bring dates around unless it's somewhat serious.But it's also tough, she adds, because once you're on the dating scene you can feel like a teenager again, in that shaky, unconfident, not-sure-if-he'll-call sort of way.So how can you make post-divorce dating — whether you're looking for a good time or a good (relationship-minded) man — less daunting?
Instead, "it's usually clear when you're not ready," says Susan Pease Gadoua, a therapist and author of . But once the idea of going on a date comes into your mind and you don't want to chase it out again, you're at least ready to start, she says. The idea is that you should consciously decide how you want to proceed," which will in turn inform how you go about meeting people.