Dating relationship with single parent nia long dating history
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A lot of single parents are afraid of going back to dating again for many reasons.
As a single dad, I am just now entering a new dating relationship with a woman who does not have kids. We have already had moments of “oh shit, your kids are there, I’m sorry…” and “don’t worry about the kids, they are in their rooms studying.” If I try to imagine her point of view I’d be projecting, so I’ll stick with mine.
As a single dad, I do understand that my kids are a priority. But kids can be used as an unhealthy defense mechanism as well.
Never use your kids as an excuse, unless you simply need an excuse.
But don’t make your kids the reason not to explore a new life, a new relationship, and the new intimacies that may open up a whole new future for you and them, eventually.
In a first date, you are trying to make an impression.That “best behavior” should be the formula for the relationship going forward.Certainly, things change as dating evolves into a relationship, but let’s take the first date as our benchmark for good behavior, especially on the single dad’s side of the dinner table.Everyone’s agenda and desires take a backseat to the first aid and trauma response. But if you’re avoiding the confrontation because “his kids need him all the time.” That might be the issue right there. When used in a relationship the “excuse” is often used to recover from a miss of some sort. The kids got home and all hell broke loose.” That might be okay if your call was just a “nighty night” check-in, but if you were scheduled to talk about living arrangements, that might be an example of using the kids as an excuse for not taking responsibility. As I move into a relationship with another woman I know that too will become a priority.(“Your daughter has fallen on the playground and needs to see a doctor.”) And beware that many requests can be set up like a crisis, (“Dad, I need my science binder by 3rd period tomorrow, I left it at your house.”) when they are actually poorly formed requests. Whatever the situation, the Mom is incommunicado, a problem that might need to be addressed at a different time, and a solution needs to be provided. I’ve never really gotten past the dating phase, so I personally haven’t had to cross this bridge.
The real answer is: As a single parent I have responsibilities to my kids that will trump all plans 100% of the time.