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You're really hitting it off, but the dude is basically a ghost. No one who online dates is "off the grid." He's hiding a dark secret (or he just has a girlfriend).

You get a text that seems like it was meant for someone else. If he doesn't have a job, it's understandable that he won't want to lead with that, but if he won't even elaborate when pressed, he either (1) does something shady as hell for a living or (2) is just fine with lying a lot. It's another if he freaks out at the prospect of you being within a 20-mile radius of his home. You shouldn't be one to judge a book by its cover, obviously, but if he's actively trying to deceive people, that says a lot about his personality. If he talks to you constantly but doesn't meet up, or have social media profiles, or ever want to video chat ... Start doing reverse image searches (and don't forget to flip the image in case he's doing the same thing to throw you off the scent).

Let's go grab some Frostys and then bang." Socially competent people know to just ask someone out to dinner and then let the banging happen organically. But if he's describing himself as an "entrepreneur" and refuses to get more detailed or refers to his job situation as "complicated" instead of being up front, that should be a red flag. It's one thing if he's being a gentleman and doesn't want you to make a long drive out to see him. Either he has low self-esteem, doesn't care about pictures, or that picture is not at all indicative of him.

You're probably hoping he has a sexy, checkered past. In reality, he just doesn't want you to find out about his DUI. "Hey, how about for our first date, we grab a bite to eat, and then I [vague reference to oral here]." Chances are slim you are going to be like, "Yeah, dude. There's no shame in being unemployed for a stretch or getting paid under the counter. Either he's seeing someone else and doesn't want to be spotted out with another woman in his hometown, he doesn't see a future with you and doesn't want you knowing where he lives just so he can keep his distance, or he's basically a hoarder and he doesn't want you to see the state his place is in.

He knows better than to explicitly text, "I m so horne," or ask for pictures of your breasts, but he's . There's no way anyone showers or lifts that much, bro. Either his mom gets sick or he gets a flat tire or his mom gets sick again. Bailing eight times means he's hoping you'll send him nude pictures without him ever having to actually meet you. His idea of a date is really just a thinly veiled sexual euphemism.

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  1. To borrow the words of a popular meme: Dudes be like “Your beautiful.” I be like “It’s you’re.” Do you remember that episode of “Doctor Who” where they invade the planet of insane Daleks? Of course, the Doctor rushes off to rescue her from the ship. When the Doctor opens the door to find a killing machine and not a damsel there waiting for him, he gets majorly catfished.